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Trump praises Whit at Whitehouse Ceremony

Posted in Current Events on February 2nd, 2018

Chronic Web Design and ShitByWhit mastermind receives national recognition from the president of the United States, Donald J. Trump during festive Whitehouse ceremony

Chronic Web Design is proud to announce that every federal agency has unanimously named CWD the first and ONLY web design firm on Earth to offer "true 100% certified organic American grown" pixels.

Arthur B. Sobotnique Whit, the "Chronic Web Design(er)" accepted the award from president Trump under the condition that his face not be shown. "I don't like all hoopla" Whit said when asked why he's camera shy. "It was a thrill to spend an entire day with the president and the first lady, but I'd rather not spend my days telling everyone about my whitehouse experience. I'd rather stay on the down low and get shit done for my people. Oops. Sorry. I probably can't say shit on CNN, huh?"

To gain certification, every single pixel leaving Chronic Web Designs' secret headquarters in Yerington NV was allowed to be analyzed by state and federal officials using highly sensitive and precise measuring equipment, some on loan from NASA and the Kavli Institute for Particle Astrophysics and Cosmology, or KIPAC, an independent laboratory of Stanford University to serve as a bridge between the disciplines of astrophysics, cosmology and particle physics.

"The results were staggering. We've never seen pixels this 'clean' or this 'fast' before" said Trump campaign manager Brad Parscale. "If Crooked Hilary had gotten ahold of these pixels back in 2016, I don't know if we could've pulled off a win. These pixels are that good."

When asked if the Trump campaign had any Chronic Web Design pixels Parscale replied "oh, I have a few samples, but not nearly enough to do do anything with. If I mixed these pixels with the existing pixels on hand, they'd be degraded immediately. But we have a truck standing by in Nevada right now just in case we can negotiate a deal with my new best friend Whit. He is so cool... Sofa King cool!"

"Yeah, Brad has been throwing some big numbers my way, and it's very very tempting" Whit said, "but you know, I'm a simple guy with simple needs, and right now, I'm content helping out the little guys that can really use my help. Like my ballooning friends for example. Have you seen some of those hot air balloon web sites out there? Some of them really suck, so I'd like to get as many of them up to speed as possible before I pimp myself out to politics."

Nancy Pelosi commented "I don't know why this Chronic Web Design guy doesn't answer my phone calls? He operates so close to me that I should be entitled to some of those pixels. Maybe I'll fly over there and see him face to face." When asked if she had tried emailing CWD she replied "Yes, but I'm sure Putin is intercepting my emails. He's involved somehow."

Prior to returning to her tribe in shame after not taking the country back from the pale faces, Elizabeth Warren was asked if she had any interest in CWD pixels and said "I think if we had real leadership in this country, everyone would have free access to those pixels!" She went on to say "my 17.3 trillion dollar plan would break up the CWD monopoly and set up neighborhood kiosks where people could take their computers and install those pixels free of charge."

If you're interested in CWD's organic pixels, or would like to see some of these award winning pixels in your project, please visit https://chronicwebdesign.com and contact Whit personally.

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Comments

  1. Arthur B. Sobotnique
    August 4, 2021 at 02:16pm

    Whit deserves that award. Congrats Whit. You are the greatest web dude of all time.
    --
    Joe Biden

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Who were the Huguenots?

The Huguenots were a religious group of French Protestants who held to the Reformed, or Calvinist, tradition of Protestantism. The term has its origin in early-16th-century France. It was frequently used in reference to those of the Reformed Church of France from the time of the Protestant Reformation. By contrast, the Protestant populations of eastern France, in Alsace, Moselle, and Montbéliard, were mainly German Lutherans.

In his Encyclopedia of Protestantism, Hans Hillerbrand said that, on the eve of the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre in 1572, the Huguenot community made up as much as 10% of the French population. By 1600 it had declined to 7–8%, and was reduced further after the return of severe persecution in 1685 under Louis XIV's Edict of Fontainebleau.

The Huguenots are believed to have been concentrated among the population in the southern and western parts of the Kingdom of France. As Huguenots gained influence and more openly displayed their faith, Catholic hostility grew. A series of religious conflicts followed, known as the French Wars of Religion, fought intermittently from 1562 to 1598. The Huguenots were led by Jeanne d'Albret; her son, the future Henry IV (who would later convert to Catholicism in order to become king); and the princes of Condé. The wars ended with the Edict of Nantes, which granted the Huguenots substantial religious, political and military autonomy.

Huguenot rebellions in the 1620s resulted in the abolition of their political and military privileges. They retained the religious provisions of the Edict of Nantes until the rule of Louis XIV, who gradually increased persecution of Protestantism until he issued the Edict of Fontainebleau (1685). This ended legal recognition of Protestantism in France and the Huguenots were forced to either convert to Catholicism (possibly as Nicodemites) or flee as refugees; they were subject to violent dragonnades. Louis XIV claimed that the French Huguenot population was reduced from about 900,000 or 800,000 adherents to just 1,000 or 1,500. He exaggerated the decline, but the dragonnades were devastating for the French Protestant community.

The remaining Huguenots faced continued persecution under Louis XV. By the time of his death in 1774, Calvinism had been nearly eliminated from France. Persecution of Protestants officially ended with the Edict of Versailles, signed by Louis XVI in 1787. Two years later, with the Revolutionary Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen of 1789, Protestants gained equal rights as citizens.